Dramazzz. tl;dr.
So, housing for next year: I love Bee, and can’t imagine my life without her. Vicky is kind of my other other half, since we spend most waking moments together at uni. The three boys next door are wonderful, and funny, and I cannot wait to actually live with them, and not have to arrange when it’s okay for me to hang out with them. El is also lovely, she’s funny, and she’s nice, and she works hard, and I think she’ll be all good :]
I went house-hunting today. Or, me, Vicky and El went house-hunting, rather. We only saw two, but we brought back a list of seven and eight bedroom houses. We went to see a seven which is about 15 minutes walk from where we are now, and it’s lovely. It’s neat, basically. Kind of like being in nice halls, except, in a house, with people you actually chose to live with. I think when it comes to choosing rooms, it’ll have to be names out of a hat though. Anyway, point is, it was really nice, so we’ve I’ve booked another viewing we can all attend tomorrow. I’ve also booked six other viewings for tomorrow, all of seven beds.
And then it all went horribly wrong. Jo is one of my current housemates. What essentially happened, is last year, Vicky and I decided to live together, and we each ended up bringing a flatmate with us. Jo is actually a really nice girl, but I feel uncomfortable around her. I’m not sure why, but it’s not something I really want to perpetuate. She’s out an awful lot, so I always thought she had a lot of friends, and therefore she’d have options of who else to live with - I didn’t think we’d be her choice - she seems so distant from us. But apparently we are.
I don’t think it would have been so bad if maybe this had all happened earlier, but the pressure is on now to get a house before they’re all gone. It’s the housing fair on Wednesday, so we need to get as many seen before then as we can, and basically make a decision. There aren’t many 8-beds as it is, two of them were let today as well. I’m going to try booking for one of them tomorrow, just in case, but I don’t really see this working. The bigger houses are more expensive - we’re looking to pay almost £20more a week, and I was under the impression she actually wanted to go cheaper. I think this was pointed out to her, and then Bee suggested that we split into two houses of four - but, that’s kind of the point - we want to be in a big house, not two small ones.
Bee is far too lovely to just abandon Jo. I do respect her for that, because I’m not brave enough to. But I don’t want to sacrifice a year - my last year with some of these people - for the sake of one person not feeling happy. It’s awful, I know.
The worst part, I think, is that I know all of this has gone on, yet Jo and I have never spoken about housing. I won’t bring it up, in case it’ll go places I don’t want it to. She won’t talk to me about it because she’s shy, and doesn’t think I like her. But I’m the one organising this whole thing. I’m running around to fill a house with people I really like. This is my thing. I feel solely responsible for this.
I fled to take refuge next door so I didn’t have to bump into her and wallow in my guilt. Ackk.
